I was kinda amazed to have visitors here, referred by search engines, looking for topics on “break-up and letting go.”
I don’t know, maybe, there is a present need from people to find answers as to when to keep fighting for a relationship and when to let go. But before I give my 2 cents, please allow me to lay down my biases on courtship and marriage.
- While I respect the opinion and choices of other people, personally I don’t believe in co-habitation because the perks and privileges of marriage comes with a responsibility.
- Marriage and courtship are 2 different bananas– while both involves investment in time and emotions, marriage has legal and spiritual dimension. While we can easily understand the legal implication, we tend to forget that there are actually 4 parties involve in marriage– the husband, wife, the state (legal aspect) and God (spiritual). If we will recognize the role of God in marriage, I don’t think we will mess with marriage intentionally.
- I believe marriage can make or break a person.
Letting go, in my understanding, is giving up the relationship. It takes 2 to start a relationship and it also takes 2 to end it. Ending a relationship is far harder than starting one. The beginning of courtship and/or marriage is exciting. Ending it is potentially damaging. But when is the best time to end?
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Tito Son Expectations, Issues
While driving on our way to a Mall, wifey and I laughed on how a radio jockey said in jest, “ang pag-ibig habang tumatagal ay tumatabang” (love as time passes by becomes less passionate) and advised the girl caller not to fall from a man’s sweet talks.
There is an element of truth to what the lady jockey advised, but I would like to point out 2 dimensions of the topic.
- Love is not all emotions and
- The passion can be kept alive inside marriage
Love Is Not All Emotions
The goose bumps in courtship will not last a lifetime, and love does not conquer all. That’s a fact. Those who believe that the magical feeling will last forever is headed for disaster. Once you are settled down, got married and living together for at least 5 years, you become more practical than magical. Children and financial obligations changes your perspective. It does not mean, however, that you are no longer in love.
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Tito Son Expectations, Issues Marriage
Is it ok to engage in pre marriage sex?
This debate has been going on for several decades, and a clash of mindset occurs between those who believe sex should be done inside marriage, and those who take the more liberal side. While I am not here to tell you which side to take, allow me to share my observation on the matter.
As a human being, we have to contend with memories. A good sexual experience will surely be stored in our hard drive, just as good food or good vacation. If human nature will take it’s course, a person will keep on returning to the “good” experience.
Having said that, what if the good sexual experience happens to be another person? i.e. not your spouse or regular partner
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Tito Son Issues Courtship
We would like to share to everyone the Pre-conceive ideas of Couples that build Walls and Hindrances toward a Strong Relationship as what we learned from a seminar in our church in 1992.
Find out if you agree in one of these.
Pre-conceive ideas of the Husbands toward their Wives
When the HUSBAND
- gives his opinion, he is setting things straight.
- talks on the phone, it’s an important call.
- asks the wife firmly to do something, he is showing leadership.
- repeats a request more than once, he is patiently reminding her.
- is late to an appointment with his wife, he has a good excuse.
- is late to a dinner, he was busy.
- buys something, it’s because it is essential.
- makes a mistakes on their bank account, he feels it’s no big thing.
- is sick, he deserves moment by moment attention and sympathy.
- doesn’t want to make love, he has good reasons.
- reads while she tries to discuss something, he can do two things at the same time.
- does something stupid, he feels it is an honest mistakes.
- has extra-curricular activities, he needs to realize his dreams.
- works at the church, he is doing the Lord’s work.
When His WIFE…
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Tita Nitz Expectations, Issues Marriage
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