Letting Go
I was kinda amazed to have visitors here, referred by search engines, looking for topics on “break-up and letting go.”
I don’t know, maybe, there is a present need from people to find answers as to when to keep fighting for a relationship and when to let go. But before I give my 2 cents, please allow me to lay down my biases on courtship and marriage.
- While I respect the opinion and choices of other people, personally I don’t believe in co-habitation because the perks and privileges of marriage comes with a responsibility.
- Marriage and courtship are 2 different bananas– while both involves investment in time and emotions, marriage has legal and spiritual dimension. While we can easily understand the legal implication, we tend to forget that there are actually 4 parties involve in marriage– the husband, wife, the state (legal aspect) and God (spiritual). If we will recognize the role of God in marriage, I don’t think we will mess with marriage intentionally.
- I believe marriage can make or break a person.
Letting go, in my understanding, is giving up the relationship. It takes 2 to start a relationship and it also takes 2 to end it. Ending a relationship is far harder than starting one. The beginning of courtship and/or marriage is exciting. Ending it is potentially damaging. But when is the best time to end?
In Courtship
As soon as the other party is not committed anymore to the relationship, it’s time to let go.
Courtship is suppose to be exclusive, if one is not committed to exclusivity, it’s better to be prudent. It may sound simple and unfair, but that is life. It is better to move on than end up begging for the attention and love of the other party. By hanging on, you may end up being taken advantaged of.
Please note though if one party began manifesting coldness or claims to be confused and wants space, the process of breakup is already at work. At this stage you may still fight for the relationship as long as the exclusivity is not being violated.
In Marriage
By default, the thought of separation should not be even entertained. Getting married is a serious matter, in fact in the Philippines, the laws are designed to give married couples a hard time to get out of it. Though there are pre defined situations wherein an aggrieved party can find legal remedy, these are outside normal considerations of human relationship. That;s why in some situations, it’s better to stay single than be sorry.
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