Jul 1, 2009
Pre Marriage Sex
Is it ok to engage in pre marriage sex?
This debate has been going on for several decades, and a clash of mindset occurs between those who believe sex should be done inside marriage, and those who take the more liberal side. While I am not here to tell you which side to take, allow me to share my observation on the matter.
As a human being, we have to contend with memories. A good sexual experience will surely be stored in our hard drive, just as good food or good vacation. If human nature will take it’s course, a person will keep on returning to the “good” experience.
Having said that, what if the good sexual experience happens to be another person? i.e. not your spouse or regular partner
A man who facilitated our pre marriage counseling more than 15 years ago said, “the best test to know if your partner can keep the marriage bed pure is if s/he can keep his/her pants on (with you) before marriage“. Some couples who engaged in pre-marriage sex have put their marriage in tatters at one point and a handful also, had a failed marriage. While there are other factors on failed marriage, some believed the behavior before marriage is contributory.
Our set values about sex and other issues on life is a personal choice, and we have to take responsibility of the choices we make. All should be reminded however, that youthful indiscretions can cost one’s future. I have my own share and if I can go back on time, I could have decided differently. This is the reason why it is important to look beyond the present and look far in the future before taking action. You can not unscramble a scrambled egg.
What about you. what is your take on the issue?
I’m more liberal on this issue. And it is a matter of personal choice as you’ve said.
That’s why I hold the view that whatever side one takes, one must acknowledge, accept and prepare for the consequences. Whatever that may turn out to be.
Pre-marriage sex is actually not an issue “if” both are single. It is a choice of two single individual who wanted to do it… because both of them feel the urge of doing it. We are living in a free country. This is a privileged that you can enjoy.
When does it becomes an issue - if one is married “plus” the woman becomes pregnant. Man usually regrets doing it - if the situation falls into this.
“Youthful indiscretions can cost one’s future” if you are irresponsible and keep on repeating the same mistakes. You cannot unscramble a scrambled egg – yes!… but you can always cook another egg, the way you want it.
“What makes a Man a “MAN”?” a friend of mine once wondered. It’s the choices you make. Not how you start things, but how you decide to end them.
I disagree with this part:
Premarital sex is NEVER a factor in a marriage breakup — and there are many, many couples who have engaged in premarital sex who have successful marriages. On the other hand there are couples who did not engage in premarital sex who end up being sexually dissatisfied with their partner by the time they’ve said their I dos. My point is there is no proven correlation between premartial sex and the success of a marriage.
A human is not a rat, nor are they Pavlov’s Dog that salivates with every ring of a bell. The actions of men are always active, conscious decisions. If a person has had a “good experience” with a certain woman, the brain must also contain details on why the relationship with that woman did not work. Was she merely a prostitute? Did they always argue if they were in a relationship? They weren’t compatible? The brain also contains the bad things — which should allow a person to make informed, intelligent decisions with regards to the context of whatever “good experience” they remember.
I am not implying that every couple should have premarital sex. What is important is that the values of the couple with regards to sexual relations is clear. The expectations between the two should always be clear.
this much i agree with, whether or not the couples have had sex before marriage. no more and no less.
[...] Sonnie Santos: Pre Marraige Sex – Fellow Christian and blogger Sonnie Santos tackles one of the most controversial topics of all time. One of his points here is that people who practice pre-marital sex and get into marriage run a higher risk of having a broken relationship. [...]
Premarital sex leads to failed marriages?
Solution: don’t get married.
pre-marital sex may affect once judgment. we can be sex jaded. It may affect commitment. why buy the cow when milk is free. read Maribel Sison and Dr Asis book - iVE BEEN dATING NOW WHAT? my book is ABUSED AND THE BATTERED MAN , this is on domestic violence.
It is better not to have pre-marital sex, so we develop a habit of self- control. It may affect once judgment to have sex elsewhere. http://www.adrian.i.ph
Hi. What if you don’t plan on getting married? Does marriage gives you a license to have sex?
My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years now. We already have a two year old daughter and still we don’t have plans of getting married. We practically share what we have with each other and we’re living together just like married people.
I was brought up by my mother who is very conservative. But I have my own beliefs, way too much far from hers. She said I should only have sex when I get married. duh?
^^ v
it s a personal choice and Ur principles;some do it and others don’t.there is no gurantee that if you dont do it the marriage will definitely work